What Changed?
by deathequalsoul
Summary: Edward didn’t come back like he did in New Moon. Alice never saw Bella jumping. Bella had no one to turn to, so instead of a person, she turned to ….drugs. She’s different now. But how different? Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Edward didn't come back like he did in New Moon. Alice never saw Bella jumping. Bella had no one to turn to, so instead of a person, she turned to ….drugs. She's different now. But how different? **

Hey guys!! Sorry I haven't written in a really, really long time. I've just been really sick with the barfing and al the other sick "stuff" you don't need to know about. :D This is my newest story and I hope you guys like it!!

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight series novels including the: characters, plot, settings, or time. Although I do wish I owned Eclipse so that I could maybe rewrite the entire thing. No offense to all Eclipse lovers out there. **

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Spinning, higher and higher. Leaping through the clouds. Floating above the

rigid earth. Euphoria. The kind that can only come from one thing. E. or better

yet known as Ecstasy. It was a glorious feeling that could only come from

smoking the brown clear jelly-like substance.

The pain was gone. My heart lost,broken, shattered into nothing that would ever be

recovered. The agony rippedaway from my physical body. I didn't have to feel it anymore-

the knowledge that he didn't love me anymore.

If only for a little while I could be free. This was the closest to freedom I could manage,

where I wasn't burdened to guess, cry, or wonder why he had left. Leaving nothing but a

shell in its place. My temperature was rising, rising above everything. This is why I loved to do

what I did-eventhough I knew it was lethal.

But I didn't care. I didn't care anymore. Not about him, not about school, not about my

life. Adrenaline pulsing, heartbeat racing,blood pumping. It was great.

Better than even the Meth that I had tried a few

weeks ago.

This was heaven compared to that. I didn't even have to inject it.

Didn't even have to worry about cleaning the needle. Too bad this was much

more expensive. I had to dig through my bank account to get the money for this.

But now I wasn't even thinking about that, I would let the consequences catch up

with me later. When I was actually conscious enough to care about what was

happening.

But I knew that my self-made haven wouldn't last long. His voice

would probably ring through my head any second telling me to stop this. To

stop ruining my life. To stop breaking my promise. Well, to hell with the

promise. He broke his end of it. I didn't need to keep mine.

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Dropping. Tumbling. Crashing. Somersaulting. Drowning. This is the price I

paid for my few hours of fun. Dehydration. Headaches. Spiraling. Sleeping like a

dead person-which I actually wished I was. If only I was. How I wished I was. I

needed a drag. Real bad.

At least something to keep me going.

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I lumbered into the only bathroom in Charlie's house. I didn't dare look in the

mirror, afraid of what I'd see.

But I couldn't resist. I wanted to see just how badly

I looked right about now.

Bloodshot and heavily dilated eyes. Grey pallor of my

already pale skin. Lusterless hair that reached my lower back. Sagging skin

where my cheeks used to be. Deep violet and purple bags under the eyes. Dead,

lifeless, and blank eyes that told a sad and sorrowful story.

They showed the inner battle of pain, numbness, fear, and shock.

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**Did you guys like it? Love it? Hate it? Want me to continue?? I know in the past that I haven't updated in a while, but I think it'll be different with these. Send me a review! Thanks! **


	2. Chapter 2

Hey dudes and dudettes! Okay, here is the next chapter!!!! I hope you guys really like it!!! Don't forget at the end to tell me what you think!

**AN: if you guys didn't figure it out, both of these chapters are in Bella's point of view. :D**

**Disclaimer: insert standard disclaimer here. AND I have to say that I copied some of these ideas off of ****inksmudged**** from one of her stories called Bad, Bad Bella. The author didn't really finish the story, so I decided to rewrite it. Thanks! **

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Showering was always the worst now. It didn't help me like it used to. It would

give me time to think. And I hated that now. Two minutes was my new record.

That's how long I stayed in the shower.

I went back to my dim room to get dressed. I stared at my closet. What was the

point in even trying to dress up? I basically wore the same thing every day:

black, black, black, and black.

But I was used to it by now.

So I just grabbed the

first things I saw: fishnet stockings, black ripped skirt, a black long sleeve, and a

black headband. I sat back down on the bed to put on my shoes-combat boots.

These were the only shoes that I would wear now.

Everything else seemed too

innocent, too not me. I went back to the bathroom to apply the standard eye makeup that I also wore everyday. Intense rings of jet black circling my eyes completed my "look."

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Oh, joy. Today was Monday, a school day. I would have to see those bitches

Lauren and Jessica. They loved to make fun of me, tease me, curse me.

Well I got them back. I got them back good last week. I had told my "gang" what

shit they were doing to me, and well, let's just say that they walked away with

new insight. I wondered if they were in the hospital. I wish they were. That would make my day.

Anyway, my "gang" was the only known group in Forks who was into the

monster. We were known as the Streetcrankers. We dealt, did, and discovered

new ones every day. We would make it a goal to not get caught every week

when we all got to together to "share."

We stuck together. If one was caught,

imprisoned, taken away from us, we all felt it. So for anyone who would ruin this

"pact", they were in for a BIG surprise.

We all dressed in black, unless someone

was feeling particularly happy and wore brown or gray; this is what we wore

every day, seven days a week. We never tired of it because it showed all the

others that we stood together and that they shouldn't fucking mess with us.

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I rushed downstairs, trying to get out of the house as quickly as I could. I didn't

want Charlie seeing me like this or else I would have to wait another ten minutes

to see Chase. I just couldn't afford that.

I needed to see him. He had my new shipment of coke. **(This coke is probably **

**different from what you're thinking when you think of coke) **I grabbed some

granola from the fridge, waved a quick farewell to Charlie-it was his day off- and

practically ran out the door to my truck.

Chase, as I mentioned, is someone pretty special. He's the one that got me

started. He's the one I have to thank for momentarily stopping my pain. He

knew what I was going through; he could feel the agony. So he suggested I first

try a bit of coke. Even though this was the hardest to come across, he said it was the best to start with out

of all of them. So

after my first high, which felt great, I joined the gang. It was easy enough. But

that wasn't the hard part; the hard part was staying. Most after awhile thought

that we were too violent, too gangsteresque, too hardcore, and not enough

feeling. To hell with those people, they just didn't see out emotion as clearly as

the rest of us could.

I was ecstatic as I took a long drag out of my cigarette. I could feel the smoke

curling through my lungs and into my brain. I could feel the best parts of it enter

my body. I felt great as I parked my truck in the school parking lot, not seeing

silver, yellow, and red cars parked right across from me.

**Love it? Hate it? Tell me what you think! Don't be lazy, click that purple-peridot-violet-blue button and review!!**


	3. Chapter 3

hey guys. i am super sorry i havent updated this story in months either. but i promise i'm going to be updating all of my stories, except two-the ones with 1 chapter each, a lot more now. i hope you guys like this chapter.

WARNING: in advance, i apologize for the language in this chapter. i don't usually curse this much. but the chapter called for it . Enjoy!

Disclaimer: i only own Bella's alter ego, not the actual person.

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Getting out of the car, I took a few swigs of beer, downing the whole can in a couple gulps. If I planned on going to school today, I would need extra reinforcements until lunch-the time that I could meet up with Chase for my new shipment. I quickly grabbed another can and chugging that one too before stepping out of the car.

As I walked towards the tiny, red buildings 'they' called school, I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread as I crossed the parking lot. But I brushed it off, blaming it on my 'good times' with Chase. Yeah, that was it; it was just messing with my mind.

Okay, well, I was totally wrong. Damn it! Fucking damn it! Those two bitches were walking towards me. Didn't they learn their lesson their first time? Drama here we come, and here I was hoping I could just get to class. For once. I was actually in the mood today.

"You know, we could sue you! Sending your gang after us was a mistake. We could report sexual abuse!" Lauren with her snotty little nose turned upward, as if I was a disgusting piece of filth, yelling at me. How I just wanted to slap her, just pull that obviously fake nose off her little makeup packed face. She clearly deserved it, with **her** little follower, Jessica, glaring daggers at me while still looking worriedly over at Lauren.

"What the hell are you talking about? They didn't lay a damn finger on you, not that they could stand touching your repulsive thing you call a body. I wouldn't say anymore if I were you, Lauren Mallory, or else you'd regret it," I sneered maliciously. By this time, I had Lauren backed up against a random car in the parking lot, my face just inches away from hers. I could feel her terror from where I stood; I could see it in her eyes. She thought I was going to hit her, I wish I could. I really did wish.

Ever since I had gone back to school and THEY left, Lauren and Jessica were treating me worse and worse. But that was fine; they just needed another little visit from a couple of people, my friends included_._

"Oh wow, Bella's so tough. We know what you are your 'posse' do everyday and weekend. Everybody knows! You guys think you're so tough, that you guys are 'cool.' But you guys are just a bunch of wannabe tough stoners. You're just trying to fit in. Well, let me tell you, it doesn't work for you. I'd say you looked much better and more comfortable with Edward as your arm candy. TOO BAD he's not here anymore. He's probably off somewhere doing it with someone much better looking than you. He won't even be thinking about you, you worthless piece of trash. I always did wonder why he chose you when he could've had me, and I was right. HE LEFT. You know-" By this time, Lauren had stopped. Maybe it was because I had bitch slapped her in the face, hard.

"You're going to pay for that," Lauren shouted angrily, probably attracting tons of unwanted attention. Well, to hell with my wish of not hurting the _precious_ Lauren.

"Yeah, right, you little fag; you fucking piece of crap that no one will pay attention to unless you've got fucking ten pounds of shit all over your face and ten more pounds of crud in your chest. You deserve this, you so do," I was saying this while punching Lauren in the stomach, all the while kicking her too. I didn't want to ruin her gorgeous face. Ha.

By now, Lauren was on the ground. Every time I kicked her or she squirmed, she would hit the car. Yes! A bonus, extra scratches and bruises. The whole time Lauren was covering her face and yelling stop, like that would stop me. I looked up quickly to see where her friend had gone and found her cuddling up to Mike. _What a great friend, _I thought. I looked back down at the 'thing' beneath me and brought my fist back to hurl one last punch at the famed Lauren Mallory, when two freezing cold hands stopped my movement, simultaneously pulling me up from further damaging Lauren's expensive body.

The first thing that popped in my mind was _What the hell?_ I didn't even stop to think who were the only people who had skin like this.

I looked behind me to see who was still gripping my waist to see who had done that, because they would have hell to pay. I was shocked and surprised to see none other than Alice Cullen. I narrowed my eyes until I knew they were just slits and hissed at her, "What the hell do you think you're fucking doing?" I knew she **used** to be my friends. But she left me to rot here in this city; she didn't need my manners.

I noticed Alice's eyes widen in shock and hurt before letting go of my waist. She stared at me as if she had seen a ghost. I distantly heard Lauren getting up and shouting profanities at me, and how she was going to get payback. I guess her injuries weren't serious enough to prevent movement, but then a crash told me otherwise. I smiled wickedly in answer.

"Is there something you needed, Alice? I was kind of in the middle of something," I said, filling my voice with venom. I looked behind her and saw the other two Cullen brothers, Jasper and Emmett gape at me, probably at the way I spoke to my 'best friend.' In answer to their stares, I just gave them the finger and looked back at Alice before walking away towards the gymnasium.

"Where are you going Bella?" I could hear the desperation in her tone, too bad for her. She wasn't going to get an answer. I needed to see Chase earlier today.

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what'd you guys think? too much swearing? not enough violence? i promise edward will come int the next chapter. :D


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